Hyouka Impossible Intermission Track 7: Now, all of us will be…

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Oreki Houtarou: Uwaahh…… I never expected the dizziness to drag on for so long…… Did the hot spring owner put in some weird chemicals? I can’t believe I presented a predicament to Satoshi and the rest……

(Someone knocks on the door)

Oreki: Chitanda, is it?

(Door opens)

Chitanda Eru: Oreki-san. Are you alright?

Oreki: Not really. Sorry for throwing cold water on your carefully planned trip.

Chitanda: It’s fine. Anyway, now, all of us will be telling some lewd stories.1

Oreki: Hahaha…… what? L-Lewd stories?!

Chitanda: Yes. If you get better, please join us.

Oreki: W-Wait, Chitanda. What did you just say? All of us will be telling lewd stories?!

Chitanda: Yes, it is a staple when on a summer trip. If there’s something for young guys and girls to do, this would be it.

Oreki: But lewd stories?!

Chitanda: Yes, is that weird?

Oreki: I-I-I-Indeed, it is a staple for excursions, but……

Chitanda: Well, Rie-san apparently has a treasured lewd story.

Oreki: Zenna Rie, even though she’s so young?!

Chitanda: Oreki-san, whether she is young or not does not matter. Everyone has one or two of these stories to tell.

Oreki: Is that so?!

Chitanda: Fukube-san was also raring to go, and told us to leave it to him for the lewd stories. I look forward to hearing them!

Oreki: Look forward?!

Chitanda: Yes, that seems to be Fukube-san’s specialty.

Oreki: Stop, Chitanda! Satoshi’s lewd stories can’t be anything good. Your ears will be polluted. Come to your senses!

Chitanda: That’s mean, Oreki-san. Anyway, Mayaka-san was also really eager to join us.

Oreki: Ibara?! That’s impossible!

Chitanda: As expected of Mayaka-san. She has read many manga of this genre before, I think.

Oreki: That’s understandable, but nevertheless, she shouldn’t be so ready for this!

Chitanda: Oreki-san……? Why are you being so flustered?

Oreki: Ugh…… I’m fine, I’m alright.

Chitanda: I know! If it’s lewd stories, I have a pretty interesting one too!

Oreki: Say what?!

Chitanda: Furthermore, it’s something I’ve experienced myself.

Oreki: Whattt?!

Chitanda: It was in the summer of fifth grade. I was walking home alone after the summer festival at night, and……

Oreki: Please stop, Chitanda! Please!

Chitanda: Hehehe, are you bad with these kinds of stories, Oreki-san?

Oreki: It’s not that I’m bad with them, but this is not something you should casually tell someone. Besides, you were only in fifth grade! That’s too painful!

Chitanda: Not true. What I experienced was a fairly common-or-garden lewd story that probably happened to everyone.

Oreki: Probably happened to everyone?!

Chitanda: Yes.

Oreki: Fairly common-or-garden lewd story?!

Chitanda: Yes. Oreki-san, did you not have that kind of experience before?

Oreki: P-Police!!!!!

Chitanda: Oreki-san?

Oreki: This is all a sham! Everyone’s just making fun of me! I know! It’s Satoshi! It must be Satoshi’s prank! Saying that everyone’s telling lewd stories and trying to make me waver, that won’t work! That won’t work, I say!!

Chitanda: Oreki-san, calm down!

Oreki: “The ghost, when examined, was just withered flowers”? Father won’t allow such lewd stories! Just like sake, you are only allowed to tell lewd stories when you’re twenty! Warghh!

Chitanda: Oreki-san has been broken! Help! Someone please help!

Oreki: Have any of you experienced this before? Being outcast from the trip’s erotic conversation?

Chitanda: What are you talking about?

Oreki: I want to join, but I’m unable to say it out, that’s why I always look uninterested…… I want the world to know my bitterness and pain! I won’t recognize lewd storytelling for you guys only! I won’t recognize it! In other words, to put it plainly, call me over!

Chitanda: Like I said, you were invited……

Oreki: But I don’t want to go! I want you to understand these ambivalent male feelings!

Chitanda: I don’t quite understand what you’re trying to say……

Oreki: Haahhhhhh…… I’ll go to sleep.

Chitanda: Well, do whatever you want.

Oreki: No, you’re supposed to re-invite me at this point!

Chitanda: What a bother…… Heh, Oreki-san, I never knew you were so bad with scary stories.

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  1. In Japanese, ghost stories (kaidan) sounds like lewd stories (waidan).

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