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Oreki Houtarou: Uwaahh…… I never expected the dizziness to drag on for so long…… Did the hot spring owner put in some weird chemicals? I can’t believe I presented a predicament to Satoshi and the rest……
(Someone knocks on the door)
Oreki: Chitanda, is it?
Chitanda Eru: Oreki-san. Are you alright?
Oreki: Not really. Sorry for throwing cold water on your carefully planned trip.
Chitanda: It’s fine. Anyway, now, all of us will be telling some lewd stories.1
Oreki: Hahaha…… what? L-Lewd stories?!
Chitanda: Yes. If you get better, please join us.
Oreki: W-Wait, Chitanda. What did you just say? All of us will be telling lewd stories?!
Chitanda: Yes, it is a staple when on a summer trip. If there’s something for young guys and girls to do, this would be it.
Oreki: But lewd stories?!
Chitanda: Yes, is that weird?
Oreki: I-I-I-Indeed, it is a staple for excursions, but……
Chitanda: Well, Rie-san apparently has a treasured lewd story.
Oreki: Zenna Rie, even though she’s so young?!
Chitanda: Oreki-san, whether she is young or not does not matter. Everyone has one or two of these stories to tell.
Oreki: Is that so?!
Chitanda: Fukube-san was also raring to go, and told us to leave it to him for the lewd stories. I look forward to hearing them!
Oreki: Look forward?!
Chitanda: Yes, that seems to be Fukube-san’s specialty.
Oreki: Stop, Chitanda! Satoshi’s lewd stories can’t be anything good. Your ears will be polluted. Come to your senses!
Chitanda: That’s mean, Oreki-san. Anyway, Mayaka-san was also really eager to join us.
Oreki: Ibara?! That’s impossible!
Chitanda: As expected of Mayaka-san. She has read many manga of this genre before, I think.
Oreki: That’s understandable, but nevertheless, she shouldn’t be so ready for this!
Chitanda: Oreki-san……? Why are you being so flustered?
Oreki: Ugh…… I’m fine, I’m alright.
Chitanda: I know! If it’s lewd stories, I have a pretty interesting one too!
Oreki: Say what?!
Chitanda: Furthermore, it’s something I’ve experienced myself.
Chitanda: It was in the summer of fifth grade. I was walking home alone after the summer festival at night, and……
Oreki: Please stop, Chitanda! Please!
Chitanda: Hehehe, are you bad with these kinds of stories, Oreki-san?
Oreki: It’s not that I’m bad with them, but this is not something you should casually tell someone. Besides, you were only in fifth grade! That’s too painful!
Chitanda: Not true. What I experienced was a fairly common-or-garden lewd story that probably happened to everyone.
Oreki: Probably happened to everyone?!
Oreki: Fairly common-or-garden lewd story?!
Chitanda: Yes. Oreki-san, did you not have that kind of experience before?
Oreki: This is all a sham! Everyone’s just making fun of me! I know! It’s Satoshi! It must be Satoshi’s prank! Saying that everyone’s telling lewd stories and trying to make me waver, that won’t work! That won’t work, I say!!
Chitanda: Oreki-san, calm down!
Oreki: “The ghost, when examined, was just withered flowers”? Father won’t allow such lewd stories! Just like sake, you are only allowed to tell lewd stories when you’re twenty! Warghh!
Chitanda: Oreki-san has been broken! Help! Someone please help!
Oreki: Have any of you experienced this before? Being outcast from the trip’s erotic conversation?
Chitanda: What are you talking about?
Oreki: I want to join, but I’m unable to say it out, that’s why I always look uninterested…… I want the world to know my bitterness and pain! I won’t recognize lewd storytelling for you guys only! I won’t recognize it! In other words, to put it plainly, call me over!
Chitanda: Like I said, you were invited……
Oreki: But I don’t want to go! I want you to understand these ambivalent male feelings!
Chitanda: I don’t quite understand what you’re trying to say……
Oreki: Haahhhhhh…… I’ll go to sleep.
Chitanda: Well, do whatever you want.
Oreki: No, you’re supposed to re-invite me at this point!
Chitanda: What a bother…… Heh, Oreki-san, I never knew you were so bad with scary stories.