Hyouka Impossible Intermission Track 14: Energy-conserving Wildfire

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Chitanda Eru: Can Mayaka-san make it?

Fukube Satoshi: She still seems quite busy. It would be great if she could……

(Satoshi’s phone rings)

Satoshi: Ah! A phone call from Mayaka! (Answers phone) Hello.

Ibara Mayaka: Sorry, Fuku-chan. I’m busy, and I don’t think I can leave the Manga Club.

Satoshi: Eh? Really? That’s a pickle.

Mayaka: Really sorry. I’ll get Oreki to go in place of me.

Satoshi: Eh?! Houtarou?!

Mayaka: Bye!

(Phone call ends)

Chitanda: How is it?

Satoshi: She said she can’t leave because she’s busy, and apparently, Houtarou’s coming to take her place.

Chitanda: Oreki-san?

Satoshi: Anyway, I’ll take the starting position.

Chitanda: Right.

(Crowd applauds and cheers)

Satoshi: My bad, I could only make one dish!

Oreki Houtarou: I’m here~~

Satoshi: Houtarou!!

Chitanda: Oreki-san! You came to assist us!

Oreki: No, I came because I was threatened by Ibara.

Satoshi: Well, we didn’t need that particular detail.

Chitanda: That’s great! Now we have enough people!

Satoshi: It may be sudden, but we’re counting on you, Houtarou. You’re the backbone of the team!

Oreki: What do I have to do?

Satoshi: Use the ingredients over there and prepare your cooking in any way you like.

Chitanda: Ah, you don’t have to hold back. Just leave some ingredients for me, and as the team captain, I will somehow deal with it.

Satoshi: Houtarou, you don’t even have to do anything.

Oreki: Even I can cook, you know.

Satoshi: Eh? Really?

Oreki: Sort of. For example, cu……

Chitanda: Cup noodles can be prepared by filling the cup with hot water? Surely you won’t bore us with a cold joke like that, Oreki-san?

Oreki: Eeh!

Satoshi: Ohh, your face is saying that your thoughts were completely read, Houtarou.

Chitanda: Oreki-san, please do your best.

Oreki: Yeah. I’ll start, then.

(Music plays)

Satoshi: Eh? Did something just start?

Chitanda: Oreki Houtarou’s Energy-Conserving Cooking. I watch this every week.

Satoshi: Houtarou’s in such a program?

Chitanda: It’s an interesting cooking program supported by a core of fans. It may be a cooking program, but no cooking is done at all!

Satoshi: Then it’s not a cooking program at all, is it……

Oreki: First, prepare some tofu.

Satoshi: He’s looking at the camera, although there isn’t one!

Oreki: Today we’ll be using tofu. You can use firm tofu or soft tofu. Anything is fine, as long as it’s tofu.

Satoshi: How imprecise……

Oreki: Tofu can break easily, so please hold it carefully.

Satoshi: Ahh! His hands are shaking dangerously!

Oreki: Oops. (Drops the tofu)

Satoshi: He dropped it!

Oreki: Now, we’ll prepare a new tofu.

Satoshi: You’re ignoring the one you dropped?!

Chitanda: Oreki-san, if you continue to waste ingredients……

Satoshi: Houtarou! Something’s squirming out of Chitanda-san’s back!1 Don’t anger her any further!

Oreki: I know! Ehh, now cut the tofu with the kitchen knife, in any way you like. (Begins cutting the tofu)

Satoshi: Ahhh! Looks dangerous! And cut the tofu more cleanly!

Chitanda: Amazing knife control! This is the first time I’m seeing this way of cutting tofu!

Satoshi: What is this? Why am I the only one seeing the reality as it is?

Oreki: Done! Now, pour shoyu or ponzu2 to taste. If you have it, you can add leeks or ginger to taste, too.

Satoshi: Everything’s “to taste”……

Chitanda: This imprecision and energy conservation is quite popular these days.

Satoshi: There is no decency left in this world.

Oreki: Right, we’re done with the cooking.

Satoshi: You only cut the tofu and added some garnish!

Chitanda: Although one valuable tofu was sacrificed, the cold tofu dish was completed without a hitch!

Satoshi: Hey, can this even be considered cooking?

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  1. Probably a reference to something, but I don’t know what it is. Anyone who knows something, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
  2. A dark brown citrus-based sauce.

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