Hyouka Impossible Intermission Track 18: Mr. Ogi Loves Helicopters

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Chitanda Eru: Ah, that’s the newspaper for 9th May.

Oreki Houtarou: It was probably that day when Ogi proclaimed that he loves helicopters in class. (Flips a page) There it is.

Chitanda: So, what happened?

Oreki: In other words, Ogi never liked helicopters.

Chitanda: Eh?

Oreki: Ogi was struck by lightning three times. That is probably true. But, usually, in this city……

(Helicopter starts making loud chopping sounds, drowning out Oreki’s words)

Chitanda: Sorry, usually…… what did you say?

Oreki: Eh? Ah, usually, in this city, an English teacher……

Chitanda: I cannot hear you clearly! Usually what?

Oreki: Eh? As I was saying…… a normal English teacher wouldn’t be struck by lightning that many…… what the heck is that? It’s so noisy.

Chitanda: Oreki-san, look outside the window! It’s a helicopter!

Oreki: What?

Chitanda: A helicopter is landing on this library. Look! It’s just over there!

Oreki: Ohh, you’re right! Is that a UH-60 Black Hawk?

Chitanda: Oreki-san, I never knew you were a helicopter maniac.

Oreki: Really?

Chitanda: Ah, a rope’s dangling from the helicopter, and someone is descending on it.

Oreki: That’s…… Ogi, isn’t it?! What’s going on?

Chitanda: So that’s him…… Be careful! He’s crashing in!

Oreki: Woah!

(Ogi crashes through the window)

Ogi: Ogi Masakiyo, 42 years old, English teacher at Kaburaya Middle School, as while as mountain climber, has just returned from the Kamikakiuchi mountain range!

Oreki: Whatt?!

Chitanda: Umm…… um……

Ogi: Long time no see, my student, Oreki Houtarou-kun.

Oreki: M-Mr. O-Ogi.

Ogi: I heard that you were sniffing around, so I came to visit you directly. I have to dispel the misunderstandings regarding myself.

Oreki: Misunderstandings?

Ogi: I love helicopters! I unabashedly love helicopters! I love each and every kind of helicopter in the world! I wanted to tell you that!

Chitanda: Uh, umm…… I don’t understand……

Ogi: For instance, that helicopter up there, do you know what is it?

Oreki: Is that a UH-60?

Ogi: Close! That’s a MH-60K, used by the America Special Operations……

Chitanda: Oreki-san, what’s going on?

Oreki: Don’t ask me, I have no idea.

Chitanda: Based on this situation, it seems that he loves helicopters no matter how you look at it……

Oreki: Ah, I made a mistake. Well, whatever. While Ogi’s rattling off triumphantly, let’s make our escape. Quickly!

Chitanda: Alright.

Ogi: Hm? You’re not escaping! Sudden Thunder!1

(Oreki gets struck by lightning)

Oreki: Warghhhhhh!

Chitanda: Oreki-san! Oreki-san has been burnt black by Mr. Ogi’s electric attack!

Ogi: Hehehehe! After being struck by lightning three times, I mastered the power to freely control lightning.

Oreki: What nonsense!

Ogi: And I call it Sudden Thunder!

Chitanda: I’m not sure what to say about that naming……

Ogi: And I was struck by lightning three times!2

Chitanda: I’m also not sure what to make of that cold joke……

Ogi: Furthermore, I’ve been sitting in my favourite helicopter for a long time, and I have gathered large amounts of static electricity. There is no escape from my electric attack! Accept it, Oreki-kun.

Oreki: What do I have to accept?

Ogi: I want you to understand that I love helicopters!

Oreki: I already understand that!

Ogi: No, your eyes tell me that you don’t. For instance, tell me. Which do you like better, that girl over there or the helicopter?

Chitanda: Eh?

Oreki: What’s with that unreasonable question?! I don’t have any particular thing for heli……

Ogi: Sudden Thunder!!!

(Oreki is struck by lightning)

Oreki: Gahhhhh!!!

Ogi: Now, answer my question. Which do you like better, that girl over there or the helicopter?

Chitanda: Oreki-san……

Oreki: Ugh…… I…… I……

Ogi: Hm?

Oreki: I like……!

Ogi: Hmmmmm??

(Alarm clock rings)

Chitanda: That was a really weird dream. Mr. Ogi, an electric user? That’s impossible! But then, if that were real, I wonder how Oreki-san would respond……

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  1. I believe thunder and lightning are pretty much interchangeable in Japanese. Thunder just sounds a lot cooler, I suppose.
  2. Because three(SAN) and thunder(SANDA). Very funny.

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