Chitanda Eru: Ah, that’s the newspaper for 9th May.
Oreki Houtarou: It was probably that day when Ogi proclaimed that he loves helicopters in class. (Flips a page) There it is.
Chitanda: So, what happened?
Oreki: In other words, Ogi never liked helicopters.
Oreki: Ogi was struck by lightning three times. That is probably true. But, usually, in this city……
(Helicopter starts making loud chopping sounds, drowning out Oreki’s words)
Chitanda: Sorry, usually…… what did you say?
Oreki: Eh? Ah, usually, in this city, an English teacher……
Chitanda: I cannot hear you clearly! Usually what?
Oreki: Eh? As I was saying…… a normal English teacher wouldn’t be struck by lightning that many…… what the heck is that? It’s so noisy.
Chitanda: Oreki-san, look outside the window! It’s a helicopter!
Chitanda: A helicopter is landing on this library. Look! It’s just over there!
Oreki: Ohh, you’re right! Is that a UH-60 Black Hawk?
Chitanda: Oreki-san, I never knew you were a helicopter maniac.
Chitanda: Ah, a rope’s dangling from the helicopter, and someone is descending on it.
Oreki: That’s…… Ogi, isn’t it?! What’s going on?
Chitanda: So that’s him…… Be careful! He’s crashing in!
(Ogi crashes through the window)
Ogi: Ogi Masakiyo, 42 years old, English teacher at Kaburaya Middle School, as while as mountain climber, has just returned from the Kamikakiuchi mountain range!
Chitanda: Umm…… um……
Ogi: Long time no see, my student, Oreki Houtarou-kun.
Oreki: M-Mr. O-Ogi.
Ogi: I heard that you were sniffing around, so I came to visit you directly. I have to dispel the misunderstandings regarding myself.
Ogi: I love helicopters! I unabashedly love helicopters! I love each and every kind of helicopter in the world! I wanted to tell you that!
Chitanda: Uh, umm…… I don’t understand……
Ogi: For instance, that helicopter up there, do you know what is it?
Oreki: Is that a UH-60?
Ogi: Close! That’s a MH-60K, used by the America Special Operations……
Chitanda: Oreki-san, what’s going on?
Oreki: Don’t ask me, I have no idea.
Chitanda: Based on this situation, it seems that he loves helicopters no matter how you look at it……
Oreki: Ah, I made a mistake. Well, whatever. While Ogi’s rattling off triumphantly, let’s make our escape. Quickly!
Ogi: Hm? You’re not escaping! Sudden Thunder!1
(Oreki gets struck by lightning)
Chitanda: Oreki-san! Oreki-san has been burnt black by Mr. Ogi’s electric attack!
Ogi: Hehehehe! After being struck by lightning three times, I mastered the power to freely control lightning.
Oreki: What nonsense!
Ogi: And I call it Sudden Thunder!
Chitanda: I’m not sure what to say about that naming……
Ogi: And I was struck by lightning three times!2
Chitanda: I’m also not sure what to make of that cold joke……
Ogi: Furthermore, I’ve been sitting in my favourite helicopter for a long time, and I have gathered large amounts of static electricity. There is no escape from my electric attack! Accept it, Oreki-kun.
Oreki: What do I have to accept?
Ogi: I want you to understand that I love helicopters!
Oreki: I already understand that!
Ogi: No, your eyes tell me that you don’t. For instance, tell me. Which do you like better, that girl over there or the helicopter?
Oreki: What’s with that unreasonable question?! I don’t have any particular thing for heli……
Ogi: Sudden Thunder!!!
(Oreki is struck by lightning)
Ogi: Now, answer my question. Which do you like better, that girl over there or the helicopter?
Oreki: Ugh…… I…… I……
Oreki: I like……!
(Alarm clock rings)
Chitanda: That was a really weird dream. Mr. Ogi, an electric user? That’s impossible! But then, if that were real, I wonder how Oreki-san would respond……