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Tanabe Jirou: So, Oreki Houtarou-kun, how will you support Phantom Thief Juumoji?
Oreki Houtarou: For that, Tanabe-senpai, I will place some sodium from the Chemistry Club in between the pages of the target proofread manuscript. Satoshi’s smartphone will attract everyone’s attention, and during that time, you should shoot the manuscript with a water pistol.
Tanabe: …… You sure think of some dangerous stuff.
Oreki: It’s a festival, so let’s end with a bang.
Tanabe: Hmm…… Wait a minute. Sodium and water certainly produces a flashy reaction, and I don’t have any objections with that plan.
Oreki: Okay……
Tanabe: But we’ve only experienced it in the lab. There isn’t any guarantee that we can do the same behind everyone’s backs in the Classics Club room, right?
Oreki: Indeed, you have a point.
Tanabe: There’s still some time. I’ll go and get some sodium, and then we can have a rehearsal.
Oreki: Rehearsal?
Oreki: ……And that’s why we’re doing a rehearsal in this deserted bicycle parking area, before actually carrying out the plan.
Tanabe: I’m counting on you, Fukube-san.
Fukube Satoshi: Yes, Tanabe-senpai. Anyway, are you really going to do such a dangerous thing?
Tanabe: Of course. We have to conduct a rehearsal because it’s dangerous.
Satoshi: I see.
Oreki: Frankly, it’s an idea I thought of on the spot, but senpai is really spirited about this, so let’s just try it.
Satoshi: Alright. Just to be sure, I brought a bunch of paper of about the same size as the proofread manuscript.
Tanabe: Great. Please insert the sodium ten pages from the top of the stack.
Oreki: Oh? So it’s stored like this.1
Tanabe: That’s because it can also react with air. It’s quite difficult to handle.
(Satoshi inserts the sodium)
Tanabe: This should be fine. Then, I shall shoot the water.
Oreki: Ah, go ahead.
Tanabe: Fukube, you should stay back too.
Satoshi: Alright.
Tanabe: I shall begin. There! (Shoots water from pistol)
(All three of them wait for a reaction)
Oreki: Nothing’s happening.
Tanabe: Perhaps there wasn’t enough water. I’ll take a look.
Satoshi: Ah, senpai, I don’t think you should……
(Explosion)
Oreki, Satoshi and Tanabe: Wahhh!
Tanabe: Hot!
Oreki: It’s burning! It’s burning!
Satoshi: Put it out! Quick! Water!
Tanabe: Not with water!
Satoshi: Senpai, are you alright?
Tanabe: Haah, I would have immediately died if not for my glasses.
Oreki: Not really.
Satoshi: Well, we now know that it produces a fire. We can do it again.
Tanabe: Yeah……
Oreki: Senpai? What is it?
Tanabe: Ah, nothing. Erm…… could we do it again?
Satoshi: Eh?!
Oreki: But weren’t you scared stiff just now?
Tanabe: I was just a little surprised. Perhaps I’m a little excited from the explosion, but I kind of want a stronger impact.
Satoshi: There’s already quite enough impact.
Tanabe: Let’s increase the amount of sodium. I’m sure it’ll be great.
Satoshi: No, that’s seriously dangerous.
Oreki: I understand, senpai. Let’s do it!
Satoshi: Houtarou too?!
Oreki: Hey, Satoshi. Explosions are amazing, you know? It’s like we’re kids again. Exciting, isn’t it?
Satoshi: What are you talking about?!
Tanabe: Hehe, you know what I’m talking about, Oreki-kun.
Oreki: Let’s do it, senpai. With double the amount!
Satoshi: Er, erm…… are you even considering the safety of the people looking after the manuscript?
Oreki: ……That should do it.
Tanabe: No, we need more. Such that it wouldn’t be weird for people to get injured.
Satoshi: What are you saying as the General Council President?!
Oreki: Alright, okay!
Tanabe: Step back, the two of you. Hehe. Let’s go!
(Tanabe shoots water at the paper)
Tanabe: How is that?
(Explosion, and all three yell)
Satoshi: Hey! That’s dangerous! Put it out! Quick!
Oreki: Woah! Did you see that, senpai?
Tanabe: This is amazing! I think I might just get addicted to this!
Satoshi: Stop talking about that and put out the fire! Help me out here!
Tanabe: Good! This is great! Oreki-kun, your idea is the best!
Oreki: Hehehe. Thank you very much.
Tanabe: Let’s do it more! More! Such that even the Classics Club room is blown off!
Satoshi: What?!
Oreki: Yes! After all, you can write on the card, “Classics Club has lost Classics Club members”!
Satoshi: You trying to kill us?!
Tanabe: Perfect! Phantom Thief Juumoji’s name will forever be a legend in school history! Like this, Mune (Kugayama Muneyoshi) will finally take notice!
(Oreki and Tanabe laugh maniacally)
Tanabe: So, Oreki-kun. Let us aim for greater heights. Heck, we got more than enough sodium. We should gather the other alkali metals like rubidium and caesium!2
Satoshi: You’re still doing this?!
Oreki: Let’s do it, senpai! We shall pass judgment on the rose-colored school with an iron hammer!
Tanabe: Yeah, we shall!
Satoshi: I don’t know anymore! This has nothing to do with me!
Oreki: Ah, Satoshi escaped.
Tanabe: Ignore the coward. Let’s begin! I’ll let you know the power of Phantom Thief Juumoji!
(Tanabe shoots water at the metals, resulting in a huge explosion)
(Ambulance siren wails)
Ibara Mayaka: Say, Fuku-chan, Oreki and Tanabe-senpai seem to be in critical condition. What in the world happened?
Satoshi: Ah, well, if anything, the bicycle parking area ([JI]TENSHA OKIBA 自転車 置き場) has lost Juumoji ([JI]YUUMOJI 十文字).
Mayaka: What are you talking about?