Hyouka Impossible Intermission Track 16: The Last Resort

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Oreki Houtarou: Satoshi, come with me for a moment.

Fukube Satoshi: As I thought, you’ve deduced something. Right, Houtarou?

Chitanda Eru: Is that true, Oreki-san?

Oreki: (Tsk! Chitanda’s eyes have changed color! Satoshi, you idiot!)

Satoshi: (Sticks his tongue out)

Chitanda: That’s not cute at all, Fukube-san. Anyway, Oreki-san, did you notice anything?

Oreki: Nope, didn’t notice anything at all.

Chitanda: Then, it’s not related to the Juumoji Incident?

Oreki: Well…… Ah, uh……

Ibara Mayaka: Oi, Oreki!

Chitanda: I’m also extremely curious, so why only Fukube-san……

Oreki: Ah, that’s…… (That’s the end of the line. All I can do now is use my last resort.) Indeed, it is related to the Juumoji Incident.

Chitanda: Really? Then count us in……

Oreki: But it concerns something very obscene. Are you sure?

Chitanda: Of course!

Oreki and Satoshi: Ehhhh?!

Chitanda: How obscene was the Phantom Thief Juumoji? More details about that…… Oreki-san!

Oreki: (W-Why is she sinking her teeth into this matter?)

Mayaka: I’m also interested. Give us a more detailed account, Oreki!

Satoshi: Mayaka too?!

Oreki: Haven’t you already read that kind of book?

(Mayaka hits Oreki)

Mayaka: What are you talking about? Don’t spout random nonsense!

Chitanda: More importantly, Oreki-san, in what way is it obscene? I’m curious!

Oreki: Wait, wait a moment…… You’re not that kind of character, right?

Chitanda: Oreki-san, I’m a pubescent girl. A JK.1 I do have some interest in this sort of thing. Right now, I’m exactly the age of a young woman with only superficial knowledge about sex!

Satoshi: She actually said it herself.

Mayaka: That’s right. It wouldn’t hurt to listen. Rather, I actually want to hear it!

Oreki: You’re utterly engrossed, aren’t you!

Chitanda: It’s alright. I won’t be perturbed about such small things.

Oreki: You should!

Mayaka: So, how does it go? Come on, Oreki! Quick! Tell us!

Oreki: You’re leaning so far forward too?! (This is troubling. The plan was to slip out with Satoshi while Chitanda and Ibara were stunned by the revelation.)

Satoshi: Hey, Houtarou, what are you going to do?

Oreki: If I were to say so, it’s all because of your words that we’re in this situation right now! Do something!

Satoshi: It’s impossible. Why do we have to talk about lewd stories with these two girls?! Anyway, isn’t this your forte, Houtarou?

Oreki: How did you come to that conclusion? You calling me a pervert?!

Satoshi: That’s not it. I’m talking about tiding over this situation.

Oreki: The obscene story was my lethal weapon.

Satoshi: Taken out of context, that does make you seem like a pervert.

Oreki: Shut it.

Mayaka: Oi, what are you two whispering about?

Chitanda: Could it be that the two of you are talking about the obscene……

Oreki: Stop it!!!!! I don’t want to hear the word “obscene” from the both of you!

Chitanda: This is discrimination, Oreki-san.

Mayaka: Exactly. Just what level of obscene is it? Like ~~~2, and then ~~~? That kind of level?

Satoshi: No! Stop, Mayaka!

Oreki: Oi! That’s enough! Our life has already reached zero!

Chitanda: Is it much more obscene than that? Then, is it the same level as watching ~~~ while ~~~?

Oreki: Just stop talking already~!!!!

Chitanda: Oreki-san. Oreki-san.

Oreki: Ah, eh? Chitanda.

Chitanda: Are you alright? You made a huge noise in your sleep.

Oreki: Ah, all that just now was…… just a dream?

Mayaka: What, you had a scary nightmare?

Satoshi: So even Houtarou can shout in his sleep.

Oreki: Chitanda, Ibara.

Chitanda: What is it?

Mayaka: What?

Oreki: Do you like obscene stories?

Mayaka: Pervert.

Satoshi: What a pervert.

Chitanda: You’re a pervert, Oreki-san.

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  1. Abbreviation for high school girl.
  2. Censored.

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